Posted: November 21, 2008 in Uncategorized

My first serious drag outfit. This is outside of a Queer/Trans dance party in the tenderloin. I still find this outfit more genderqueer than flat out cross dressing, but the line is close. Interestingly, in this SF radical queer scene, I feel more accepted the draggier (draggy, draggier, draggyist?) I dress.
That was a recent discovery that surprised me greatly. Up until last Friday, playing with the feminine in my fashion was purely intrinsic. I expressed my genderqueerness despite the signals from my environment. The straight girls I hang with always seem to be comfortable with boy looks. When I show collection of genderqueer outfits. Many friends would pick out the least genderqueer and say “Oh I really like that one.” But last week at a radical queer event at El Rio the male-bodied queers were pushing boundaries and making radical fashion statements. I felt like a wallflower in my camouflaged gender transgressions.
Interestingly, The impetus for gender trangressive fashion shifted from intrinsic to extrinsic. I made the discovery that a large part of my dating pool (trans-folk and queer women) not only support but encourage my genderqueer experiments. Like so many times in my nomadic gender wanderings, I find myself in new territory without a map. Last night I dressed in drag because a queer girl lover (and many other queer girls) finds it more attractive, and sexier. So this outfit represents two new things. Firstly, navigating radical queer social space as an ‘out’ trans girl. Which is far more satisfying socially. By wearing drag I am out, and I am accepted, and I become a more attractive flirting/cruising/dating partner for the transfolk and queer women who I am attracted to.
Secondly, I start to dress in a sexy way for the other, the lover, or potential lover. Please ponder this. Because this was not I situation that I found myself in in my entire social life as a straight man. In the default world the male is the observer. Male makes love to the female. The male gaze captures the the female. Male is expected to act and the female is acted upon. The roles in sex, relationship, and dressing are dissolving for me as I further explore the joys of dyke relationship. The straight male identity and social locus, is an existential ghetto.
I propose that huge personal development occurs when we, the male-bodied, cast off the socially constructed gender roles of the male and embrace the ambiguity of genderqueerness. I further propose that this journey is social rather than biological. It is not a matter of gendered hormones and brainstructures. My interpretation of my brand new gender transition is that it is basically a process of enculturation in the radical queer world as both a queer and a (trans) dyke. This point may sound abstract but I assure you it is very concrete, and I believe that it has intriguing implications for the tools with we can cast off and destroy the regime of the gender binary.

  1. rob says:

    Hello Jasper, this is Rob who you took a photo of at The Gangplank queer dance night, i was wearing striped stockings and a black leather hat… You should send that photo my way if you feel like it, and Olivia wants to see her’s too! That was a fun night, but i got too drunk. See you around. -rob

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