Jasper’s Fashion Evolution: Part III

Posted: November 27, 2008 in Uncategorized

This outfit has potential. I like the play of the plaid shoes with the plaid shorts. Wearing the blue-green opaque tights around town in the daytime was a new edge for me. I like them, they are warm, well made, and just 8 bucks at Forever 21. This coat is too bulky for the outfit. I will try it again with some more layers, leg warmers, hand warmers and a scarf.

Returning to the theme of my fashion/gender evolution, the period i will call straight sex positive began in the fall of ’06 and lasted until my first burning man in the fall of ’07. I took a number of workshops on Love Sex and Intimacy at Harbin Hotsprings from an organization called the Human Awareness Institute (HAI) (disclaimer: the site is really cheezy but the workshops are actually exceptional). Through HAI I got to know part of the SF Bay Area sex-positive community. Partly through the facilitation of the workshops and largely though the supportive, tantric, poly, pan-sexual, kinky, sex-positive freaks I met there, my gender identity and sexuality began shifting. Two big shifts were body-shame and sexuality.
Firstly, I dealt with my body-shame, and developed a very positive body image. It was liberating to hear appreciation of my intrinsic sexiness from both men and women. The confidence boost allowed me to be less vulnerable to the anxieties that my experiments raised in the straight social scene of which I was still a part. Although, I still was not very attracted to men, I began to take it as a compliment when my girlfriend said that something "made me look gay", since that seemed to coincide with looking and feeling sexy. Somehow it seemed that straight men were only allowed to be sexy in an exaggerated masculine way. Rippling muscles are OK, a nice round ass is not OK. Somehow the sexualization of the male body kicks at fundamental traditional gender roles. So, I fight the patriarchy by taking control of my sexuality and sexualizing myself for the female gaze.  I take Madonna-as-feminist-icon as my role model in this.

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