Gendered Dancing : Part IV

Posted: December 26, 2008 in Uncategorized

This is a shot of me in high femme at BaGG. I am feeling shy and hiding behind C.
In my last post I talked about bonding with other girls on the dancefloor. The actual social practice of the bonding fascinates me in retrospect. Over and over again, I find myself displaying body language and saying things that are very girly. It seems to arise spontaneously from some unknown place. I do not know consciously how to ‘be a girl.’
Last week when I bonded with the girls at BaGG, I felt like I performed a small bonding ritual with each of them.
I engaged one of them. "Those leather hotpants are really cute. You look greeeeaaaat."
She lit up, put her hand on my shoulder and said. "Yooouuu look great. I lovvvvve your outfit."
I lit up too. We both beamed. Then I did something which I do a lot since I became a girl. We looked into each other’s eyes and I opened my heart to her. I mad myself vulnerable to her. It felt like a big energy exchange. Then we both squealed with delight, hugged, and started dancing again.
It was a ritual of appreciation, vulnerability and friendship that I perform in different ways with so many new friends. It is so sweet. How could anyone possibly make it through life without this support?

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