Gendered Dancing : Part V

Posted: January 12, 2009 in Uncategorized

The two are playing with female-butch. The inspiration seems to be schoolboy fashion. One is playing for the night and the other is experimenting with gender daily. I like the look, it is clean and is a bit mod chic.

I met these two and three of their friends at Badlands the other night. Badlands is a very cruiser gay men’s video bar in the Castro. I shake my booty there to top 40 pop. I go there in part because it is completely accepting of my femmier outfits. I have never seen the dancefloor empty, so I can lose myself in dance. I go and dance with faghags and lesbians. Unfortunately the guys cruise really really hard there. i have not slept with a guy since I was a teenager. The male body is and and masculine energy just do not turn me on. If only I were gay! That seems a lot easier than being trans.
So anyway this particular night the guys were cruising so hard I felt like prey. Usually I turn away if a guy will not redirect his energy. If that fails I move on the dancefloor. Some guys interpret that as playing hard to get. When I said I wanted to be treated like a woman this was not what I had in mind. Crossing the street at night to avoid guys hanging out on the corner was not a top priority either. That night when I turned away I felt like I just ran into the next predator. My boundaries were totally getting crossed. I felt disoriented and powerless. When I spotted a group of five queer girls next to me I fled to them for refuge. I felt very, very relieved.
They created a a safe space and let me hang out in it. It was sweet of them. I learned a tip for dealing with over-enthusiastic men on the dancefloor. one girl told “you always need a friend to dance with. You just make an agreement that you can dance with each other to lose some guy.” She also said to “make a friend quickly when you are going dancing alone, so that you can watch each others backs like that.” Makes sense. I makes me wonder if this is the kind of thing that girls teach each other in high school.

  1. julian says:

    Hah, yeah, girls are taught to protect themselves on dance floors. Back when I identified as a straight female, we would go to school dances, and we had special codes for things like “ugh ugly guy, save me,” or, if you couldn’t see the guy, “is this guy hot?” And we always took along a big guy who could shove off the more tenacious hanger-ons. My best friend and I would make out in order to deter guys from hitting on us. It didn’t really work, but it definitely made me happy ;D

    It’s all in the socialisation.

  2. Jasper Gregory says:

    Boys and girls lived in parallel universes in my high school. I grew up with mormons in Salt Lake City. Gender was very, very important to them. In Elementary school The girls brought their dolls and played mommy. The boys were expected to beat each other up through ritualized sports.

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