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Posted: February 23, 2009 in Uncategorized
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  1. Jasper Gregory says:

    Join my experiment and comment on this thread. Let’s get a conversation going. What do you think of the blog? Tell us what you agree or disagree with in the posts. Give feedback and constructive critique. Tell us why this blog is relevant to you. Just tel me if you are reading it.

    Many of you have left great comments, but they are scattered around. This thread will stay pinned. That gives us a chance to build a critical mass. If this takes off I could set up a forum.

    So… please leave a post.

    Jasper

  2. Jasper Gregory says:

    So my question was “What do you like most/least about the blog?”

    most) I like how this blog documents an entire period of gender questing. My changing thoughts and fashions are all there. You can watch them evolve, and hopefully get an idea of what it was like to live through this upheaval. This is what Halberstam calls queer archives.

    least) I am not happy with how hard it is to find old posts. It is hard to make this stuff accessible in a blog format. I want the old posts to become accessible in a meaningful way.

    OK, your turn what do YOU like most and least about the blog?

  3. Jayna says:

    After our conversations in the coffeeshop I decided to devote more attention to you blog, because some inexpressible conflict was building a nest in the back of my brain that I was unable to pinpoint. From what I’ve read, your aims are clearer and its refreshing to witness someone developing their identity instead of stubbornly confining it to something “essential” and immutable.

    However, I realized that my confusion is based on the idea of denying essentialism because it avoids questions of biology and psychology. Things that I do believe have an essential role in informing certain gender behaviors or at the very least gender construction. Now of course I believe gender is a question of identity, but my reproductive sex also contributes to that identity and how I relate towards with others. The most outstanding and explicit example is that of the menstrual cycle and pregnancy. I don’t believe, that to be a woman you have to reproduce, but the threat of pregnancy, the pain of birth, the hormonal imbalance consistent with my menstrual cycle all force me to sympathize with sexed-women and fear or avoid certain sexed men. They contribute to how I present myself to others, my general mood and attitude toward myself, and often color my aspirations or desires. I am not male-sexed, and cannot fully understand certain biological responses, drives, and motivations of male-sexed people because, even in the simples we look different from the waste down. In early childhood we identify ourselves with mom or dad, some would say as castrated or threatened.

    My other problem is the generalizations I find in your blog. An example of this is For example, he critiques the essentialist view of man and woman communication styles differing. He feels that those differences are due to inequality and gendered power differentials within (straight)relationships. One of my delights from exploring relationship with my ex-lesbian girlfriend is that we are not gendering power. There is a back and forth, a give and take that she claims is part of lesbian relationship. Dominant genders are not constructed by these relationships.” My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and our relationship is very much a back and forth and give and take which I believe all relationships require in order to succeed. We share a home and the responsibilities, which are not negotiated by gender (ie we both take out the trash, we both cook dinner, we both unclog the toilet, and clean the dishes, do the laundry and water the plants. We take turn holding one anothers’ hand.) On the other side of the coin, I have a lesbian freind who finally left her abusive, domineering, power mad girlfriend. Niether were butch or femme, they were just people on both sides of the coin, but as their relationship began to develop they adopted a hetero hegemonic structure although niether claimed to be dominant or submissive, and my friend who was always a thoughtful gentle and delicate person became violent, hostile, and controlling that paralleled her girlfriends general personality and behavior. Both of these examples would force one to reconsider the assumption that all hetero relationship are based on dominant gender displays or that lesbians are more generous with one another. I think its much more complicated than that.

    I’ll keep reading though.

    “For example, he critiques the essentialist view of man and woman communication styles differing. He feels that those differences are due to inequality and gendered power differentials within (straight)relationships. One of my delights from exploring relationship with my ex-lesbian girlfriend is that we are not gendering power. There is a back and forth, a give and take that she claims is part of lesbian relationship. Dominant genders are not constructed by these relationships.”

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