What Am I Doing?

Posted: March 11, 2009 in Autogynephilia 2009

What Am IDoing?What Am ICooking?What Am IReading?

One weekend in March I went to a ski resort and experienced some interesting aspects of gender.I presented in my gender of Ex Lesbian. The resort itself was extremely masculine gendered. Downhill skiing seams to evoke a competitive masculine spirit, with Frat Boy? drinking games after the sport. I do not venture out of my Queer San Francisco bubble very often. Gender variance in rural America is not ‘culturally intelligible’. Outside my house the Hetero Patriarchy reigned.Inside, three mothers, three children and I spent a lazy weekend. The houses was a woman’s space and I loved being part of it. I am not a woman, I am a Heterosexual Queer, but I love being given the social privileges of womanhood, to be integrated and and enveloped.Tineke was the youngest of us at four years old, but she has the benefit of starting out now in a progressive small town in California. She has gender variant kids and adults in her world, and she has two moms. She has had a very queer childhood.On the first morning she surprised me, “Jasper is going to read to me. She is is going to read me a book.” The adults called me he, but she knew that wasn’t quite right. Later Bee told her “Jasper is a boy.” Tineke said “Jasper is not a boy…” She thought for a second. “He is a Girly Boy.” she pronounced, satisfied.

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