In this video I delve into a subject that I have touched upon many times. Presenting as a ‘sexy woman’ gender generates resistance, anger, fear and lust among straight men. It puts me into a homologous position as a female. I get to know the ‘Man’ identity category as an outsider.
It started when I realized that many straight men felt free to voice lust towards me when no one else was watching.
However, I never really felt right on the inside of the ‘Man’ identity category. Most progressive straight women extend recognition to me as a member of the identity category ‘Woman’ as long as my clothing marks me clearly as disidentifying with ‘Man’. I had to unlearn a lot of ‘Man’ category discursive behaviors. I had to learn to take up no space. it is a sort of withdrawal of ‘Will’. I had to learn to listen and play a supportive role in ‘Woman’ category groups. That was surprisingly easy to learn as soon as the ‘Woman’ category was projected upon me along with an expectation of those behaviors. At the same time I made space for the ‘Woman’ listening and supporting skills by disidentifying with ‘Man’ and internalizing a virtues of what a ‘good Woman’ is like.
My ‘Woman’ is much more mature and grown up than my ‘Man’. My ‘Woman’ is patient, caring and in touch with her emotions. She lets the boys win their games and gains strength through flexibility like a Willow in the Wind.
Other girls open up their hearts to her in a way that is not possible between category ‘Man’ and category ‘Woman’.
see also Men Take Up Too Much Space
Jasper at Decompression 2008 read the original post